What Are You Doing to Your Kids?
My mother passed away in 2022. It was a sad time, of course, but one with the realization that she was now with the Lord and with her husband. Both of them knew the Lord.
I had heard about the tremendous tasks that people with recently deceased parents faced. I soon found out for myself. My parents had wisely set things up, legally, to make many things smooth for us. However, there was one thing which quickly became a nightmare. My parents had moved into my grandparents' home when they passed away. This meant not having to dispose of anything that my grandparents left in the house. We soon found out what I thought was a bizarre habit. Apparently, my family, for several generations, had never thrown away an empty box or a bent nail.
My parents and grandparents all went through The Great Depression. I did not, of course. If I had, maybe I would have had a different attitude about saving every scrap of everything. My mother kept a very neat and clean kitchen and living room. However, crammed into every drawer and shelf was multiple generations worth of stuff, mostly broken and worthless. My wife and I went through many thousands of pages of saved mail, 99% or more was totally useless. Later, we needed to find a certain item which made us go through the SAME pile of thousands of pages (several times).
Maybe you, like my mother, were always intending to go through “that attic someday”. If she knew what she was doing to her kids, she would have actually gone through all her papers. Eventually, she became too elderly and, of course, we did not expect her to go through things.
Maybe you are up in years but still able to sort through your stuff. Please think about what you are doing to your children by putting it off. That day eventually does come when that is not possible and no one is expecting you to do the work by yourself of sorting and moving items when you are elderly.
Another thing we discovered in disposing of two hundred years or more of family items was something unexpected. There were boxes upon shelves upon trunks upon chests of old photos. Most of these had no names or anything indicating what or who they were. If I had asked my Dad years earlier, he could have told me who they were. No doubt they were family members that no one bothered to write on because they were people that could never be forgotten. A hundred years ago, yes, but now everyone who knew who these people were, was themself dead. I had no one living that I could ask.
Just a reminder to children of older parents. Remember to ask about things while someone is still alive who could answer your questions.
I waited until it was too late. My parents waited until it was too late. This is just some free advice.
July 1, 2023